My recent bout of insomnia has left me with plenty of time for my other obsession…trolling the web for all the horrible things that could happen to my family, so I can dream up ways to keep them safe. (Of course, that’s probably feeding the insomnia…)
For instance, after Natasha Richardson died of a ski-related head injury, I’d given some thought to forcing my children to wear helmets 24-7—especially my two-year-old, who seems prone to clocking her head and falling down stairs. And I now panic every time anyone in my family gets a bump, wondering if, even though they’re walking and talking now, they’ll develop a life-ending brain bleed.
And when I read about families whose children develop cancer, I worry about whether something is brewing inside my own kids, that could threaten their lives.
Now, of course, I’m worried about Mexican swine flu. There have been cases in our area, and though it’s mild now, I figure it’s probably better to be safe than sorry. I’m this close to ordering a supply of surgical masks. Just in case.
I know, logically, that the odds are my children won’t be affected by any of these things. But my heart just panics at the thought of losing the people it loves so fiercely. When I fell in love with my husband, watching any sort of movies/shows where the husband died (Sixth Sense, anyone?) made me weep uncontrollably. And now that I’m a mom, that’s pumped up to the nth degree, whenever it’s a child involved. You would have thought my parents had died the way I sobbed at this week’s Grey’s Anatomy, where a secondary plotline involved a child dying of Tay-Sachs disease. As a parent, I can’t imagine surviving that sort of loss.
What keeps you up at night?
