Americans Hate All Weekdays Equally

It's common knowledge that everyone hates Mondays. Hell, Garfield built a career out of hating Mondays. (Well, that and kicking Odie and eating lasagna. What a crazy guy!) But according to a new study, that "common knowledge" might be flawed.

In a paper titled "Day of The Week Mood Patterns in the United States," researchers surveyed 340,000 people and found that yes, we do all hate Mondays, but it's no worse than any other weekday, aside from Friday. People reported being happier as they approached Friday, but said every other day other than the weekend jump off was equally terrible.

Therefore, one of the researchers insisted, we should forget this "Monday is the worst day," thing. "Despite our global beliefs about lousy Mondays, we conclude that this belief should be abandoned," Professor Arthur Stone of Stony Brook University told BBC News. "Cultural myths may vastly over-emphasise actual day of the week mood patterns."

We hear Stone, but we still think there's a certain hierarchy for the weekdays. Presented below, the days of the week, from best to worst.

• Friday. Stone's report got this right — Friday is definitely the best weekday. It marks the beginning of the weekend. The world is our oyster on Fridays. We have that night and Saturday and Sunday to not do all the things we planned on doing during the week. It's a fantastic day.
• Wednesday. The hump day bumps Thursday from the next spot because of the great feeling of relief we get from knowing that the weekend is fast approaching. When you get to Wednesday you feel like you've really done something amazing. We bet it's sort of like the feeling people get when they reach the top of Mount Everest.
• Thursday. Thursday is a weird one. It should feel good, but it doesn't. It's bad because it feels like the weekend, but it's not. You still have one more day of your boss yelling at you for using too many paper clips.
• Monday. Ah Monday. The hate is gets is so great, but not as much as one other day. While Monday is horrible, it also gives us all a chance to start anew. Did you yell about a coworkers outfit on Friday and said offending coworker heard about it? Monday gives you the chance to apologize. We can reinvent ourselves on Monday, which is why it's not the worst weekday.
• Tuesday. The absolute bottom of the barrel. There is nothing good about Tuesday. The week isn't new and shiny, like it is on Monday. It's already old and dull by Tuesday. There is little to be happy about Tuesday, because Friday seems so far away. Osama bin Laden? Born on a Tuesday. We're not sure about that, but it sounds right, doesn't it

[Pic via Flickr - Biker Jun]