Apparently, Diet Soda Is Not Helping You Lose Weight

It’s just not fair. You try so hard to be healthy, don’t you? You (sometimes) eat right, you exercise (when you get the time), and you do your best to follow doctors’ orders. And part of being healthy seems to involve embracing the dieting lifestyle. So while your friends are being lazy and slothful, you’re a bastion of health! You’ve even traded in your beloved sugary soda for the diet version. And after all this work, scientists are saying that your low-calorie beverage isn’t really that beneficial after all.

In a study by Purdue University (just in time to ruin your favorite beverage), scientists determined that diet sodas may be linked to numerous serious health concerns. From obesity to heart disease to diabetes, diet soda seems to carry the same risks as its high caloric counterpart.

But hold on a minute. We can understand heart disease and diabetes as side effects of diet soda (after all, it’s pure chemicals), but weight gain? Isn’t the whole point of chugging this stuff so that we don’t gain weight? Apparently that doesn’t matter; the study shows that people who swill diet soda are more likely to experience weight gain than if they had just stuck to the standard version.

How is this possible? One theory is that diet soda confuses the body. While normally we experience a surge of energy in the form of calories when we imbibe sugary drinks, we don’t get that from the diet version. The body, suffering from the false promise of caloric energy, retaliates by making you crave sugary goodness. The end result? You find yourself binging on unhealthy options to satisfy a need that wouldn’t have existed if you’d just indulged a little.

This is pretty upsetting to those people who have sworn by diet soda over the years. And soda-lovers aren’t the only ones disturbed by this news. Beverage companies are scrambling to spin this study to be slightly less damaging.

“This is an opinion piece, not a scientific study,” the American Beverage Associate (ABA) said in an official response released earlier this week. “Low-calorie sweeteners are some of the most studied and reviewed ingredients in the food supply today. They are a safe and effective tool in weight loss and weight management, according to decades of scientific research and regulatory agencies around the globe.” (It should be noted that the statements by the ABA also qualify as an "opinion piece, not a scientific study." After all, it’s not like they’re indifferent to the drink choices of America.)

OK, so diet soda is bad for you. Regular soda is bad for you. Then what type of soda are we expected to drink? Ah, there’s the rub: According to the report, we should put down the soda — and pick up a healthier option. Scientists suggest opting for juice, milk, or just good old-fashioned water.

“Are diet sodas worse for you than regular sodas? I think that’s the wrong question,” Professor Susan Swithers, who headed the project, told USAToday. “It’s ‘What good are sodas for you in the first place?’”

Logically, we always suspected that soda wasn’t as problem-free as we hoped. After all, it’s bubbly brown sugar water — when does that get healthy? But one minute we can drink soda, the next we can’t. Then we can drink diet soda, and now that’s off limits. You know what? We’re exhausted from trying to keep track of what’s healthy. If you need us, we’ll be recovering from all this health talk with a tub of chocolate fudge ice cream.

[Pic via Flickr - globochem3x1minus1]