Japan's Younger Generation's Relationship Troubles May Be a National Crisis

The young people of Japan have very different ideas about what it means to be a man or a woman, and how relationships should work. Simply put, many find traditional relationships, and especially having children, as being too much trouble. This is quite the shift from the past, and it's one that is becoming so pronounced that it's impacting the country's population.

According to a study by the Japan Family Planning Association, about 36 percent of males ages 16 to 19 have "no interest" in or "despised" sex. For women, it's even higher — at 45 percent. Both numbers are up almost 19 percent since the last similar survey was conducted in 2008. Yeah, seriously that's a HUGE problem.

Ai Aoyama, a sex and relationship counselor in Japan, told The Guardian that the main problem comes from the fact that younger Japanese have different views of marriage than the older generations. "People don't know where to turn," she explained."They're coming to me because they think that, by wanting something different, there's something wrong with them. Both men and women say to me they don't see the point of love. They don't believe it can lead anywhere. Relationships have become too hard."

It isn't difficult to see why the young people are turning away from love and relationships. The traditional Japanese family has a father who works and earns all the money, while the woman stays at home and raises the kids. It's very circa 1950 America. There's even an old Japanese saying "Marriage is a woman's grave." So why would youth embrace that? Especially women? One woman explained the reality of the working Japanese woman as "The bosses assume you will get pregnant." Then, once you do, she added that there is no employment flexibility in place, so the hours are unrealistic. "You have to resign," she explained. "You end up being a housewife with no independent income. It's not an option for women like me."

For young Japanese males, turning their backs on traditions is about carving out a new identity. They don't want to be seen as cold, emotionless people. Author Maki Fukasawa coined the term "herbivore men" to describe these youths back in 2006. They earn little and spend little, are unafraid to express emotions and interested in less "manly" pursuits, like fashion. They also believe that men and women can just be friends. "In Japan, sex is translated as 'relationship in flesh,'" Fukasawa told CNN in 2009. "So I named those boys 'herbivorous boys' since they are not interested in flesh."

The changes are already impacting the country's numbers, and promises a tough future. If the current trend keeps up, Japan's population of 128 million will shrink by one-third by 2060, and the elderly will make up 40 percent. That will put a lot of pressure on the economy. But perhaps that's exactly what the youth have in mind. Change through hardship can often have surprising results.

[Image via Flickr - Glenn Loos-Austin]