Social Media Is Driving Our Need to Be 'Liked'

You just posted some interesting picture/article/song/whatever on Facebook. Be honest: How often are you re-checking your feed to see if anyone commented on/liked/reposted what you’ve shared? If you’re anything like us, it’s a few hours later and you’re still quietly (or loudly) celebrating every time you hear the “ding” that announces a new notification. Ten “likes”?? You’re popular! A celebrity, even. At least, that must be the way you seem to all of those people who are clearly monitoring your popularity status on the social media-sphere, right?

You’re not alone, popularity-seekers — more and more, it appears we are becoming addicted to the need to be “liked.” And it's not just an issue for kids, the older generations aren’t safe from the craze, either. A study from Pew Research found that social media use amongst our elders is on the rise, with almost three quarters of U.S. adults using some form of social networking site (up to 72% from 67% in late 2012). Additionally, the amount of social network users among those aged 65 and older has tripled in recent years, from 13% in 2009 to 43% in 2013.

So, why can’t we seem to get enough Internet love?

It’s simple: Social media affects our self-image. By portraying ourselves a certain way on networking sites, we ensure that others view us as happy, beautiful, well-dressed, well-fed individuals, even if that’s not the case 100% of the time — which it never is. And receiving attention when we take the time to so carefully curate our online personas is the ultimate reward for all of that hard work. Ford’s 2014 Consumer Trend Report noticed it in their findings: “In a world of hyper-self-expression, chronic public journaling, and other forms of digital expression, consumers are creating a public self that may need validation even more than their authentic self.”

And if we achieve ultimate joy from public recognition, then the opposite is also true -- Not receiving any “likes” is equal to a public shunning. We begin to question not just our tastes but even the quintessential parts of our selves: Did we do something wrong? We must have in order to not deserve any attention whatsoever.

But social media isn’t entirely to blame for our need to be liked; it only exacerbates the problem. Humans are social creatures by nature, and our desire to be accepted will continue to exist even if social media ceases to. And though the pain of rejection can be harder and harder to bear as social networks increasingly take over our real lives, at least we know there is the possibility of reaching out, of knowing that we can all fill the emptiness inside with just one notification “ding.”

Internet, looks like you’re our only friend.

[Pic via Flickr - Natia Koiava]